"Just shoot me" - Part deux
I have to quit putting Groove Armada's At The River on repeat. Really. I'm beginning to think that I do it out of bad habit, to calm my nerves when something work-related sticks out like a sore thumb somehow. This is one tune I've been listening for years. 4 years to be exact. I started this new year with the sole resolution of moving along steadily in all aspects...and here I am skipping along fine and dandy when wham! It just comes along ever so simply, every so...now and then.
I really don't wish to save anyone anymore. It is extremely tiresome. Then, of course, it has to be not so much so of a rosy day for everyone else now. I don't think I have much compassion left in me. Human afterall, ain't no saint either.
Can I save myself for a change? Someone told me this today (technically yesterday now)...Why settle for second best (or worse, just right) when there's a whole world out there to discover? It really got me thinking. Perhaps, Mag more than hit the nail on the head when she said I should have to let it all go...It takes mountains to move a person like myself. I can be the most wonderful person and yet I can be the most heartless. I've plainly been running around in circles and procrastinating the essential thinking.
How much more is there to life? Countless opportunities, endless choices...Like an all too typical MCQ questionaire, choices a to d...I miss my haven...and for the very next day, I know it'll purely all be the same once again. Funny how the strength in me is target-specific.
The very song...it sparks off reflections, thoughts, feelings I don't even wish to address. It is reminiscent of how I put certain movies on replay over and over, re-watching them multiple times, which leads me to wonder whether the movie is in actuality sinking into my system or am I merely facing the film on the pretext of thinking just that bit more. Has to be one of the trio - Dirty Dancing, Pretty Woman, Moulin Rouge. Most recent addition? Phantom Of The Opera. Truly meaningless...non? Mesmerized though by the beauty of it all.
Right. Drop me a sign...futile or otherwise.
I am exhausted.
"The best I'll ever be...is the best yet to be?"
I really don't wish to save anyone anymore. It is extremely tiresome. Then, of course, it has to be not so much so of a rosy day for everyone else now. I don't think I have much compassion left in me. Human afterall, ain't no saint either.
Can I save myself for a change? Someone told me this today (technically yesterday now)...Why settle for second best (or worse, just right) when there's a whole world out there to discover? It really got me thinking. Perhaps, Mag more than hit the nail on the head when she said I should have to let it all go...It takes mountains to move a person like myself. I can be the most wonderful person and yet I can be the most heartless. I've plainly been running around in circles and procrastinating the essential thinking.
How much more is there to life? Countless opportunities, endless choices...Like an all too typical MCQ questionaire, choices a to d...I miss my haven...and for the very next day, I know it'll purely all be the same once again. Funny how the strength in me is target-specific.
The very song...it sparks off reflections, thoughts, feelings I don't even wish to address. It is reminiscent of how I put certain movies on replay over and over, re-watching them multiple times, which leads me to wonder whether the movie is in actuality sinking into my system or am I merely facing the film on the pretext of thinking just that bit more. Has to be one of the trio - Dirty Dancing, Pretty Woman, Moulin Rouge. Most recent addition? Phantom Of The Opera. Truly meaningless...non? Mesmerized though by the beauty of it all.
Right. Drop me a sign...futile or otherwise.
I am exhausted.
"The best I'll ever be...is the best yet to be?"
posted by Jane Doe @ 1:25 AM
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