And here's Jamie Carragher and Fernando Torres...

What the counsellor said about forgiveness...

1. First off, forgiveness begins with a legitimate injury. Understanding and being honest is the first step towards resolving issues. Being honest is the first stage towards freedom from past injuries.

2. The second part of forgiveness is that there is no such a thing as getting even. If someone has hurt you, it means you trusted the person. One can never be hurt without being vulnerable. Causing someone else pain does not take pain away; it merely acts as a distraction. Every act of revenge simply buries one's pain. The deeper it’s buried, the more revenge will be required to keep the pain from being felt. The cycle never ends.

3. The third part of forgiveness – and the most important – is that forgiveness means laying down one's weapons. What are weapons? Yelling is a weapon, being aggressive is a weapon. Weapons are things one does to lash out at other people or to “get even” to protect ourselves.

4. Fourth part of forgiveness is recognising that forgiveness is not the same as trust. Many people think of forgiveness as being totally released from hurt as though nothing has happened. Trust is dependent on the person who has hurt you, and forgiveness is dependent on you. Forgiving someone gives the person the opportunity to change their ways; changing their actions is entirely up to the person.

5. Fifth part of forgiveness is that forgiveness means grieving. Forgiveness means letting your hurts die. Another reason we grieve is that we cannot embrace a new future, if we are still holding on to the past. Unforgiveness causes a person to feel that they have to keep their guard up. Until the past injury is grieved, those injuries will continue to block that path. Forgiveness allows the offended freedom to love again and not be bitter and alone.

God first made Man. Then He made Woman to accompany Man. He made Woman from the ribs of Man...

And so, I realise now that only by letting my past go, then that what has happened to me in the past decade will not continue to eat up my future...embracing change and keeping to my principles, following my heart and doing what's right...

Will you walk with me?

My first step

After a hiatus of close to 2 decades, I've finally stepped back into church.

It is the Fifteenth Sunday of the Year - Bible Sunday. The priest spoke of repentence and faith. I felt right at home all over again. He spoke of the gospels, and love, as well as sacrifice. Looking back, I wish I had completed my holy communion. I recall Fr Fossion driving his vintage car to pick us kids up for cathecism class when I was all but 10 years old. He was a kind man with a twinkle in his eye as he read out the bible to us. I never completed the course. It seemed a long winding downhill road ever since.

This is probably one of the biggest first steps I've ever taken in my life. It feels completely right.

Have a blessed week..

Road to recovery

For the past decade, too much has happened and I was lost.

I lost myself when I hardened my heart. I lost myself when I could not focus nor reflect and did not allow myself to mature for personal betterment. I am not proud of situations where I could have reacted / handled differently. I was afraid of situations I could not control. And when I did not have the courage to face up to what was happening, I used anger to cover up how I really felt. That was how lost I was. I never really opened my heart to anyone else, despite knowing how much I felt deep down.

When a business unit breaks apart, as working professionals, we zoom in and analyse what has gone wrong. It is akin to the black box of an airline which has crashed. Look past the debris, look past the destruction and emotional trauma, and take stock of what had deviated in processes, conduct appropriate risk assessments and put in place plans to protect the business unit so that the past will not reoccur. Everyone makes mistakes in this lifetime, I've come to realise, it's what you take out of it that matters. Who's to say that making mistakes is unforgivable. God gave his disciples a second chance, and the prodigal son too. We all have to move past controlling people and things we do not understand. Conducting an assessment - what, why, how, when, who.

What -
1) The environment. It was too challenging an environment set to create distance and was prone to way too many external factors. Distance breeds neglect, distance breeds resentment, distance breeds temptation. Without a difficult environment, sustainance is already a challenge in itself, why make it even more challenging?

2) The mindset. What makes a unit? What is the definition of a unit? Is there even one? Of course, life is what truly what you make of it. A glass of water can always be half-empty or half-full. But fundamentally speaking, a unit denotes a team. When there is a team, there is support. When there is support, there is clarity. When there is clarity, one is able to develop maturity. When you develop maturity, nothing very much can shake you if you keep in focus. No temptation, no resentment, just focus and understanding. And a constant reminder for endurance, as well as alignment of mindsets to stay in focus.

3) Understanding. Conditioning of the human mind is an interesting subject matter. Generally guilty of taking and not giving, a lack of appreciation for the little things in life, and being obstinately in denial, even in the face of advice and love. I would without doubt raise my hand to being guilty of all three. All-assuming thinking I knew best, when I didn't. When I'm wrong, I have to say I'm wrong. Acceptance is the first step. There is nothing threatening about giving before taking (or even not taking at all), nothing worrisome about opening up to being an open book, nothing wrong with forgiving all the hurt in the last decade so that a better brick road can be built. Using anger to cover up was pure cowardice. And destructive like a horrible tornado that wipes out long histories of towns and breaks lives.

Why -
This is the journey of life. Hence the saying that life is full of trials and tribulations, the good and the bad, the sweet and the sour. A decade of pain would only translate to a better decade ahead, only if one can take life's lessons in stride. What doesn't kill you will only make you stronger and strengthen your faith. For e.g. look at Deutsche Bank's September 11 recovery, all the emotional trauma and destruction, and what did all the employees take out of it? Firstly, build a stronger bridge to recovery, they reflected on the gaps, put together a better contingency plan and the disaster that happened only served to bring everyone closer on a global level. Better late than never.

How -
1) Perserverence is key; endurance promotes flawless execution, and helps flawed execution reach the deliverable goals.

2) Action plan. A task list helps keeps things in check. A scheduled action plan helps keeps work-life balance, and eliminates confusion.

Change like life is what you make of it.

When -
Every second delayed is time wasted towards reaching a decided goal. Look forward to the light at the end of the tunnel.

Who -
Change comes solely from within. Only if one subscribes to the belief and is personally convinced, then only will embarking on a life-changing stance prove fulfilling and successful.

Last but not least, crisis management.

Review, evaluate, implement and always keep in check.

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gona get. Will a chocolate truffle make your day, or will a vanilla caramel bring a smile to your face, or will even a switch from truffle to caramel result in greater joy, no one really knows isn't it?

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you for showing me love, and finally I can say this to only one person in my life, thank you for bringing realisation to my life with regards to personal betterment. Likewise, you make me want to be a better person. The greatest joy in life for me, to love and being loved in return.

Love is Patient, Love is Kind

"Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

God, I pray, please give me strength :(

What's a bat to do?

You’re an observer, patient and aware of your surroundings. You thirst for knowledge and understanding. Many people misunderstand you. You are intuitive and have the ability to see through illusion – diving straight to the truth of matters. Despite what others may think, you are very nurturing and have strong ties with people close to you. You always strive for the best and nothing else. You are devotional and faithful.

Sakura sakura - Yokoso Japan!

I love Spring (though not as much as my fav Autumn) but Spring is really lovely in Japan! Sweet and beautiful...

First stop - Kyoto (old Japan). Love the serenity and calmness of the city...

Next stop: Sannomiya (Kobe) for the acclaimed Kobe beef - and it did not disappoint!
Then headed onto Osaka...


Last but not least, Tokyo! I absolutely love Tokyo! The Tsukiji fish market for the best ever sashimi, Ginza for the amazing architectures and shops, and all the sights (e.g. Asakusa temple, Oeno Park and so on)...

But of course, Spring in Japan wouldn't be complete without Sakura!

I will be back...Love the culture, the food, everything way too much in the land of the rising sun!

Happy Easter!

mon amour...rendezvous en france

Bonjour!

Guess what came through in the mail for me today?

A letter from my bank saying that I've won a complimentary Longchamp Le Pliage Travel bag (SGD 350)...What a pleasant surprise, almost bordering on the "too good to believe it's true" line!

Anyhoo, I've called up the boutique and they're all out of stock at the moment, but the SA was kind enough to let me in on that new stock will be arriving in store on Tuesday, and that she will put one piece away for my collection. So come Tuesday, I'm heading down to Paragon to pick it up...Now I can't decide if I should get the bag in red or chocolate, though I'm really leaning towards the red :)

I've come to realise that a huge part of my wardrobe comes not only from Italy but France as well as Spain. This is absolutely random, but I really do miss Paris...sigh, or perhaps it's the weight of being burdened so much by work and stresses of the politicking that I'm worn out almost 90% of the time now.

So Happy Valentines!

This is my outfit for the evening...

ODJ - Dinner with R @ Pregos, and Drinks @ City Space after...

Dress - HL Honeysuckle

Shoes - CL Lady Gres in Bordeaux

Bag - H Tri-colour Kelly

Random pics from the night, taken on the way to City Space for drinks, and at dinner...

Cheers to love!

Have a good weekend!