Pitter patter

It's been raining every day. Almost. It's either a slight drizzle or a huge downpour. The rain is driving me slightly nuts at work, since being stuck in a building without an umbrella is just impossible, yet the very same rain calms my nerves at night...snuggling in bed on a rainy night is one of the loveliest feelings ever...ah the luxury, the comfort and the inertia - I wish I never have to ever wake up!

I've been having long days at work, and longer nights at work too...the hours just seem to slip by without my knowing, yet I've got piles of paperwork to clear...I'm seriously holding up for Yappy's X'mas party coming up next weekend, and my firm's Dinner & Dance as well...December is gradually turning into one of my favourite months. :)

Picked the little one up from China Black earlier...just brings back all the memories and it was indeed just a gentle reminder of how I've grown over the years. :) Yea, alright, I'm getting old!

I guess what my dearest mother said is all too true, "Only you will know what you want in your life. Ultimately, one day you will know what you want, and you will just focus." I'd thought that an even stronger focus would be my first resolution for the upcoming new year, now reflecting on it though, I don't think it entirely necessary. Of late, it has been coming on quite naturally. So there. :) Good, bad, happy, sad, I'm just glad I've got my ever loving family and friends around me, I'll come up with my three resolutions soon enough!

I don't say it at all, but I do miss Second One in Chicago...

It's the end of another november week...I still can't quite believe that X'mas is creeping up on us all, but I love it! :)

I'm starting a new week at IPC...it'd be quite a long 3-week project and then I'll be moving on to another client. It's going to be busy no doubt but interesting and challenging...managed to get a day off on the 23rd, so gonna be a good X'mas break...heading off to church and spending the eve with friends, family and loved ones... :)

Time to get cracking on those new year resolutions again!

I should be so lucky

Tonight is the first night for a while since I've just stayed at home alone, and here I am...my thoughts trailing...thinking of you.

I know I've been unfair to have expectations of you and I know you find it very difficult to express it in words or gestures. Sometimes I've been too demanding but you've never given up no matter what. I really appreciate that. I love the dark chocolate you brought downstairs for me, I love that you remember how to please me when I'm all stressed, I love looking at your sheepish smile and I love......the rest is censored hahaha! Seriously though, I love that there's never a dull moment when you're around. I love that you are so shamelessly funny. I love that you read me like a book in and out, that you're super understanding by nature, sensitive to my feelings and needs, consistently spoil me rotten, give in to me so much more than you ever need to, but do so just because. You're sucha sweetie you melt me every single time, you're smart, independent, passionate, ambitious, warm, sincere, easygoing, confident, a go-getter, genuine and the best bit? I love everything there is around you babe.

I've always been amazed at how you've never had any expectations of me. Unlike some of those unnecessary and unspoken expectations, like how tons of over achievers take heaps of pride in their successes and how they expect others to be achievers as well, just so that they can uphold that pride when they go out and meet each other's friends. It's akin to a trophy thing, or to be that social butterfly so that it feels good to be with other popular people, thriving on the popularity and useful attributes of others. That's so tried.

This is precisely why despite all that you are and all that you have and all that you've got, yet you are simply the babe next door. You've given me entirely yourself without any expectations, and no conditions attached. Sometimes I still find it quite hard to fathom. That's also the sole reason I need periodic assurances, just to make sure that you know you've made the right decision. Sometimes it's also to make sure that you are real.

So, thank you :) lucky duck!

Finally.

I passed my golf PC! :) Good thing I did, after golfing in the rain for more than 2 hours...

"pour vous": nothing like one in love

Bic Runga--Sway

Don't stray, don't ever go away
I should be much too smart for this
You know it gets the better of me
Sometimes, when you and I collide
I fall into an ocean of you, pull me out in time
Don't let me drown, let me down I say it's all because of you
And here I go, losing my control
I'm practising your name so I can say it to your face
It doesn't seem right, to look you in the eye
Let all the things you mean to me
Come tumbling out my mouth
Indeed it's time to tell you why
I say it's infintely true

CHORUS:
Say you'll stay, don't come and go
Like you do
Sway my way, yeah I need to know
All about you
And there's no cure, and no way to be sure
Why everything's turned inside out
Instilling so much doubt
It makes me so tired -
I feel so uninspired
My head is battling with my heart
My logic has been torn apart
And now it all turns sour
Come sweeten every afternoon

CHORUS TWICE

It's all because of you
It's all because of you
Now it all turns sour, come sweeten every afternoon
It's time to tell you why, I say it's infinitely true

CHORUS TWICE

It's all because of you
It's all because of you
It's all because of you

a roomful of magic

The new Harry Potter movie...okay, my lips are sealed and I'm not about to spoil it for anyone reading this, but it was a good one. Tad dark episode but kept my eyes glued to the big screen for the whole of the 2.5 hours, so I guess that tells you how much I enjoyed it all! :)

Heard the "Sway" song on the radio on the way home. Brings back a whole mindful of memories. Like how over time, my entire Melbourne experience has somehow diminished into lovely clouds, just a beautiful story and memory...the good, the bad, the happy, the sad...everything's just bringing a smile onto my face...I guess that says it all..."things come and go like you do"...

Enjoy the song of my moment :) Night guys!

Psst! Did I mention that X`mas is near? Yes, again! It's coming to another year end! I dunno how it happens, time just slips me by...(and every X`mas I'm all reflective...)

xXx

Thank you

Thanks for everything!

Again, I got the bag - the Met tote - I'm loving it!

Thank you! Hurray for X'mas coming...! :) I'm all smiles...D&D's coming up, I'm fretting about having nothing to wear!

il est parfait!

So, it's come to the end of my two and a half weeks' leave. I feel energized, I feel refreshed, and I feel happy all in one. I've been zoning out (zen-mode) and I've been cramming my studies (phew! it's over!) and I've been catching up on indulgent "me-time"...at times, watching my lately acquired Sex And The City finale series, at others, doing wonderful brekkies, lunches, dinners with my babes, and at even more moments just simply doing nothing at all!



"Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous. "

And here, the Met bag, I'm thinking, I like that it's roomy...

a light affair

Had a lazy Saturday afternoon just me and my Dvds. Total bliss!

Evening was an early home-cooked meal, then we were off to the Coca-Cola Light Affair at Lash, One Fullerton. It was pretty entertaining and I liked that the entire place was not too crowded and yet we all had fun and laughs. I used to love going there, the former Embargo...brings back memories of those days...haha! Well, it helped that the Giorgio Armani giftpack was not that bad either...Out of a spate of fun and as a tiny favour to the producer whom used to be my college mate, us 3 gals auditioned for the "Speed-dating" gig on TV...hilarious! Fingers crossed that our auditioning tape never leaks out! Lol ;)

Our night-out at Velvet Underground was fabulous! Amongst other personal details about my night, all I'll divulge is that I simply adore the place, the music and the dancing took me to an absolute high...John Digweed was spinning at Zouk, pity didn't get a chance to hear him spin coz the timing totally slipped my mind, but according to my lil piece of haven, he was good! Well, I'd bet!

On the whole, a fulfilling Saturday, the weekend can only get better... ;)

the wish bone

Some people take a lifetime to find the right one. Others take many many years and still can't make it right. There're so many people hurting around me. I seem to have my opinions about everything but some things I can't comment on, only because I understand having gone through first-hand and I feel their pain. I remember how my heart broke when A and I broke up and my whole world collapsed. I didn't believe in love from then on. I figured why love someone so much when it's only going to make me become so possessive and so difficult to have things any other way? And then, my mind was made up.

God and life work in mysterious ways. We all grow up in time. We heal, we learn, we grow, we move on. I probably couldn't see it then but there's a reason for everything. That was probably a passing phase, like all the rest, to help get me to finding The One. I don't ask for the best. I just hope for what would suit me best. And if it comes, it is a raw bonus.

Late last night, we were just sitting down there at Coffee Bean after dinner with Pat and his wife and I had a moment. The moment just stalled in my mind and time came to a sudden standstill. I just so love hearing couples telling their love story. And one day, when mine's finally all written out, I hope I can tell it too. :)

living with a capital L, because we're all worth it

Dashing Divas' manis and pedis are quite amazing. You pay a premium for service which is indeed a cut above the rest, correspondingly the results are way satisfactory. My nails haven't yet chipped one bit, well it's been 3 days and counting - colour me impressed.

I attended a charming wedding dinner last night at the Conrad Centennial. Everything was perfect. The colours, the ballroom, the cutlery, the service (not bad at all!), the food, the flowers...it's definitely a place worth considering for anyone with wedding bells ringing. :)

In an unfortunate turn of events though, my golf PC test early this morning is going to be delayed and rescheduled. I'm still in the midst of trying to figure out the reason behind the instructor not turning up. Hmm. Nevertheless, the good thing is, in spite of everything, I'm motivated. :) So, back to the firm on monday...

My lil piece of haven and myself have gotten tix to the Harry Potter premiere come thursday - yipee! Hehe...yea, so if there's one thing noone really knows, I'm a Potter fan...

I feel blessed.



"Success is a magnifying glass on your personality. Who you are just becomes more intense."

a typical day downtown

Had a leisurely day with my lil piece of haven, starting with a body balance class at the gym, and then a short jog on the treadmill. Feels good, I've so missed the feeling of working out...Met My Immortal and the three of us had lunch at Toast. The chocolate deluxe cupcake is seriously divine! And the chocolate truffle cake was marvellous too! Enough of chocolate for me! :) Strolled around the malls after, the lovely X'mas lights are up everywhere and I feel so airy-fairy...The feeling of being away from work - wow, I could definitely get used to this! ;) Most sales are up, and we couldn't help but window-shop around...I've done my round of getting most gifts, bought a pack of cards to give out, and then really, I can't wait for next weekend! Hehe, I've got it more or less all planned out (fingers crossed and my lips are tightly sealed!)...

On occasion, being a total ditzy brunette can be quite liberating. Bimbotic remarks, woman-of-leisure lifestyles, sipping away my much-loved peppermint tea...ah, again, I could definitely get used to this!

Popping by our neighbouring country tomorrow afternoon...more shopping, window-shopping, whatever, here I come!

And, oh nice. I like.

the moment

A tear is heart-breaking.

We all have so many different sides to ourselves. To some, I seem calm yet solemn, and to others I seem daring and crazy. Different people get a different shade of me. More often than not, I think through the first four lines of conversation and what the other person might say before I even go up to them to say something. Same at the very centre within myself but very varied on the outside and only a lucky few have somehow managed to put them all together to get a clear view of who I truly am. There's no actual need for me to bother explaining myself.

Sometimes, how I wish time will just stop ticking and turning. This is one such moment.

do we all put ourselves thru lessons to lessen the pain?

The worst breakups ever. On a post-it. Being told by the doorman. Through total silence. A missing persons report. What else? The fact is that it all doesn't really matter. At the end of the day, we all have to be fair to each other. It takes tons of courage but if for the best, who has the right to judge?

I truly hope all those I care about who are hurting will feel better in due course, cliche but true, time heals all wounds...and I very much agree, there is too much hurt and too many broken hearts in the world...

X'mas seems to be sneaking up so quickly on me this year...for some reason I can't explain it myself...So here I am, once again with the dreaded flu typing away...All I can picture is this: Sitting around watching Sex and the City season 6 (the entire DVD series which I'd kill to own right now-hehe), having a lovely choc or two, and then zipping around town if I can with a much-needed new mobile phone and the very much-coveted pink/white Metropolitan Museum Of Art New York tote bag, together with new golf gloves for kicks. :) There, my dreams this festive upcoming holiday. Oh yes, and to fit again into the secret skinny jeans we all have tucked away some where in hope of that some day...

To this I say, cheerios! And...dream away... :) Whatever all you guys do, as long as y'all happy!



P.s: Take care felle. I'm always just a phonecall away if you need me babe...

Love is not all: It is not meat nor drink
Nor slumber nor a roof against the rain,
Nor yet a floating spar to men that sink
and rise and sink and rise and sink again.
Love cannot fill the thickened lung with breath
Nor clean the blood, nor set the fractured bone;
Yet many a man is making friends with death
even as I speak, for lack of love alone.
It well may be that in a difficult hour,
pinned down by need and moaning for release
or nagged by want past resolutions power,
I might be driven to sell you love for peace,
Or trade the memory of this night for food.
It may well be. I do not think I would.

the zen mode thing

Finally, my last CPA paper is tomorrow afternoon, I've got a mani and a pedi lined up right after (which, yes, I've almost oh-so-conveniently forgotten again!) but yep, I have to get through another 6 modules first...let's see, how bout 4 modules by the crack of dawn and the remaining 2 in the morning...

Had a long looong day...best bit? Congrats babe!!! Hope you get the job, and we'll all be in the same firm...hehe! I have the very right mind that you'll like the firm culture some how...deep down inside, I've still been looking forward to work almost everyday... :)

An angel helped set some things straight for me today...I still feel a tad bleah but all will come to pass in time...so whatever!

I'm itching for yoga... ;) Have a good week guys!

First away win

Good on pool!!! :)

In thoughts of you

Oprah's words of wisdom

1. If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.
2. Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
3. Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
4. Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be. Slower is better.
5. Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
6. If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't "be friends". A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.
7. Don't settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.
8. Don't stay because you think "it will get better." You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
9. The only person you can control in a relationship is you.
10. Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?
11. Always have your own set of friends separate from his.
12. Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.
13. Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.
14. You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
15. Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are... even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.
16. Never let a man define who you are.
17. Never borrow someone else's man.
18. If he cheated with you, he'll cheat on you.
19. A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
20. All men are NOT dogs.
21. You should not be the one doing all the bending...compromise is a two way street.
22. You need time to heal between relationships...there is nothing cute about baggage... deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
23. You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...a relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...look for someone complementary...not supplementary.
24. Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.
25. Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always knows where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.
26. Never move into his mother's house.
27. Never co-sign for a man.
28. Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

scorn

There is too much hurt out in the world. To deal with hurt, certain people do the most insane things in this lifetime. I can't profess to understand this one bit, but I guess we all have to be true to ourselves. At the end of the day, what is right?

Recently, there was a reported case on the news whereby a scorned lover murdered his mistress in cold blood. The lover was our usual man in the office stacked with paperwork, yet he was possessed by emotion to engage in murder, and the victim was none other than his own mistress, when investigated revealed that she was one whom he felt for very deeply. He didn't take well to rejection and committed this horrific deed.

I suppose there are many degrees of insane things committed on a daily basis. Some people grade simply the most extreme things done from day to day as insane. Some people term invasion of personal space and privacy as unexplainable insanity, while others convict murder and injury as insane. To me, all are actual forms of insanity. While more often than not, we can attempt to understand where the aggressor is coming from, but it doesn't make it right. Smaller cases of insanity may go unreported in this time and day due to the lack of time and effort pledged to settling them, however bigger cases of insanity may consequently result in criminal conviction. Even though much laced with guilt, spite, scorn, angst and even depression, once done, insane deeds as such can never be reversed. Let us imagine from a different perspective, for the lover stated above, murdering his mistress is one thing all gone wrong, he could have been in denial to everyone else around him, but how could he ever live with himself? Truth be told, what goes around comes around in life. This is the sole essence of life. Kismet, Karma, many believe, if you do good in this lifetime, it comes back in a subtle way and your life is enriched, and if you do evil, it comes back around and cripples you.

Perhaps, it does help to see things from a different angle. Outright rejection may not translate into a possession now lost, but rather honesty and fairness not to string one along. It's always a lot harder to be cruel to be kind.

Let us all live this life right.

...and so it is...

After 9 months, the lady's dream has come to an end. Her wedding is no more. It has finally dawned upon her that if it never felt right, it never would have been right. Going with her heart might not have been the most sane choice, however going with her mind totally proved to be futile. In this little thing called life, perhaps, a balance of somewhere in between the two would have been ideal, but how perfect can her life be? Some say things don't have to be perfect, just perfect for herself. And so it is...she could never love to order. She needed more strength within than she had imagined it to be.

She keeps it all within herself because some things are best left private. What others say, what others think, all will fade into the shadows and dust. She knew what was real, and with a sigh, she trudges along. Disillusioned about love, she wandered, is love indeed just a possession and nothing more? Maybe she just couldn't fit into the role of loving in a certain way with certain habits. Different perspectives tore the two apart.

And so it is, just like the way it should be...most of the time...

*****
Can't we try? Would you rather be with an empty shell? Yes.
Why think? If for the better, if for the greater good, the best is yet to be.

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

William Butler Yeats